Introducing the newly crowned Miss America, representing the state of Texas! Between party-planning, running a motivational speaking company and modeling, Crystle Stewart plans “to dedicate her life to international philanthropy.” That’s after she works out with the weights, touches up her makeup and sucks in that stomach! But seriously, folks, from the looks of this picture, Miss Stewart is far too busy worshiping the international deity of fame and fortune, brought to us by the Universal Temple of All-Powerful Media.
Attending services along with Miss Stewart were the judges, (Heather Mills, Rob Schneider, Amanda Beard and Christian Siriano), each representing what we adore most in this country: greed and self-loathing, Saturday Night Live, the Olympics and Project Runway! Sitting directly behind the judges (who conferred seriously with each other while sizing up the Miss America contestants in their shimmering gowns) sat the high priest of wealth and fame himself, Donald Trump. The ministers for the evening’s service? Donnie and Marie Osmond! Wow! The church’s location? Las Vegas! Yeah, Baby! Pictured above, a comparison of religious iconography.
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A great piece. Keep it up.
Beautifully written. Dripping with acid.
The interesting question to me is why and how these pageants have persisted. And I am not wothout some possible answers.
But even more baffling is why the simple thought of these spectacles brings out so much rage on my part.
To be a part of these in any way is to be a disgusting hopless neaderthal. And to be a part of one of these that has any connection to Donald Trump is to be permanently assigned a place on the human food chain down there right next to Mr. Blackwell, Paula Abdul, and any person who ever wrote an epsiode of either Love Boat or Fantasy Island.
Actually, there is one wonderful contribution this sleaze has made to American culture. Seriously.
The pageant world inspired one of my all-time favorite films, Smile, by Michael Ritchie. A must see.
n hopeless Being a part of these in any way
I’m going to have to check out “Smile”!